he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
