I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
