please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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