i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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