that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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