he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
