I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
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I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
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Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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