i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
