: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
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