I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I know her cup size but not her name....
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