Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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