Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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