hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
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and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
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I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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