I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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