STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
