I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
