Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
