Where did you get a picture of my penis
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize