He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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