If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Randomize