I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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