just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
