Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
did you just send me my own nude
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
