Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
