I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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