he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
