thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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