After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
