Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
