I'm eating all of the evidence.
You can't special order awesome
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize
