I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
