If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
