would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
