you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize