1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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