I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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