That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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