WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
