and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
We just shotgunned beers for America
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
