Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
