Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
