Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!

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(616): View more from Michigan

at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?

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(605): View more from South Dakota

Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.

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(848): View more from New Jersey

Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.

(732): View more from New Jersey

You live a charmed life.

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(607): View more from New York

How high are you?

(413): View more from Massachusetts

I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth

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(917): View more from New York City

Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.

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(757): View more from Virginia

You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid

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