apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
