Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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