didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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