Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
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