I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
