Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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