The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
