He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Randomize
