hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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