I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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