So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
are you so shy because you have an std?
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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