Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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