pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
