winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just high enough for therapy.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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