I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Its about making memories worth repressing
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
