Your dad touched me again.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
