TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
