She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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