I just saw a hot homeless man
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize