he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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